No Pain, No Gain
My mother despised this saying. I said it to her once, in a mocking tone, and she legit backhanded me (she later cried and apologized a million times, because, Mom) and told me to go to my room. One time a commercial for a fighting game came on TV with the slogan No Pain, No Game – From Acclaim and she FORBID me to have the game!
Now, faithful reader, you may be asking yourself the question, “Why did Derik’s mom hate that so much?” (Great question, btw. If I were a better writer, I would have started the blog by answering it). Here’s why: My mom had a hysterectomy (which, isn’t what Dwight thinks it is) and she was having horrible pains due to complications from the surgery. *Author’s Note* Hey fellas, don’t check out on me here. The “Female parts” talk is almost over. How bout that local sports team, am I right?* Scar tissue had developed and my mother was in terrible pain. When she tried explaining this to her doctor, the doc replied, “Well, no pain, no gain” infuriating my mother to the point she VOWED never to see the doctor again. She made good on that promise, but probably to her own chagrin. The scar tissue became worse, resulting in another surgery, then another, then another. This led to my mother’s addiction to pain medication, which in turn led to my mother passing away at such a young age.
“Hey, Derik!”, you may be asking right about now, “that sure is a grim story. Why start off this blog like that?”. Well, sexy reader, it’s really simple. It’s the basis for the remainder of our time together today. Sometimes, we have to go through the pain, but we’re too scared to because, in the biggest “no shit” moment I’ll ever write, pain hurts. So, like my mom, we don’t want to hear about it, or face it in our lives. And if we don’t face it, things tend to get worse instead of getting better.
We all suffer. We all go through bad things in our lives. Chances are, one of you reading this is currently going through some rough stuff in your life. Suffering is unfortunately a part of life. It’s how you handle that suffering that makes you who are you.
We tend to try to stay away from pain. We want everything to be as perfect for us as we make it out to be on Facebook, right?
“Hey! Here’s some pictures of me and my family in matching outfits on the beach at sunset #Blessed”
“Hey! Here’s some pictures of me and my friends out having brunch! #SundayFunday #MimosasBitches!
“Hey! Here’s an inspirational saying on a picture of some mountains and beautiful scenery to show you I have my stuff together”
I’m not knocking any of these things, btw, I love seeing my friends and family happy and having good times. But you and I both know those good times don’t last forever. Honestly, we shouldn’t want them to.
Living a pain-free life means you live a stunted life.
You need pain to grow.
When I go to the gym and kill it, I’m disappointed if I’m not sore the next day. Why? Because the pain tells me I did my job. I’m experiencing pain today so that my muscles can grow and make me stronger and better tomorrow. Same thing with anything in life. You’re going to go through bad times. And that sucks. But how you handle the bad times is what makes you who you are.
Sometimes, we feel sorry for ourselves. “Why is this happening to me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” We become defensive, we blame others for our pain. We medicate or drink too much to numb the pain.
Instead of doing this, we should embrace the pain. We should take those low times in our lives and learn from them.
When you get your heart broken, you learn through the pain about your self-worth and what you want out of a partner the next time.
By embracing the pain, we tell the universe to bring it. By embracing the pain, we grow into the person we want to be.
So, the next time you’re going through a rough time, don’t say, “Why me?”. Puff your chest up, look those problems right in the eye and say, “Try Me”.
Learn to see the pleasure in the pain. Grow from it. Become the best version of you that you can.
You’ll see a difference in your life if you allow your pain to teach you how to live.
You’ve got this.
And I’m rooting for you.